Future

I was up kind of early this morning. Thanks Brendan for snoring extra loud! :o) And thought I'd post a fun blog! So I found this website where you can add in the "mom and dad's" photo and it generates what your baby will look like. I've done this several times before and each time, it came out with a.....umm...not so cute baby.

http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1002271&image_name=wb20100227072919rd84cu285jmace1osslfpkrcq3.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

Okay, this kid's eyes aren't even like mine and Brendan's. ^

So I tried again and this time with a different photo of Brendan. ** BY THE WAY, THIS IS ONLY FOR KICKS, I AM NOT TRYING TO ANNOUNCE ANYTHING!** It's just all in good fun!

http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1002271&image_name=wb20100227073734rd84cu285jmace1osslfpkrcq3.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

Again, the eyes. The hair color...sure.

So then, I decided to make the "dad" a celebrity. Patrick Dempsey to be exact. I couldn't find Edward Cullen. :(

http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.php?server_id=3&folder_id=1002277&image_name=wb20100227074053rd84cu285jmace1osslfpkrcq3.jpg&baby_name=&o=s

The kid has red hair.... umm me nor McDreamy have red hair.

This site is bogus! But I suppose we'll see WHEN the time comes around. Like I said..all in good fun.

My Dad's Voice

I've had some bad days this week. I just wanted to share about Daddy's singing. When I was little and we attended East Dillon Baptist Church, my dad sang in church quite a bit. For those of you who attended our wedding, you were able to hear my dad sing "Butterfly Kisses" to me. While he sang in church, he would sing a lot of Ray Boltz songs. His voice was very similar to his. Although his singing at the wedding was different because of emotions and because he had been sick on and off for the past 6 years. He really tried to weasel his way out of singing at our wedding but it wasn't too hard to convince him otherwise. See, since I was a little girl and that song came out, I always told him I wanted him to sing "Butterfly Kisses" at my wedding. He thought I had forgotten about it but sure enough I called him up once the planning had started to remind him. I gave him PLENTY of time to work on it. :) ( So there was no dispute). I'm so glad that we have a video of our wedding ( thank you, again, Billy for the incredible job you did on that!) where I have my dad singing to me. I'm glad in general, that I have his voice. When my MeMa passed away, one of things I was terrified of was that I would forget her voice. Something so simple. Last night I had a dream that she called me and said "Well, it's been a while hadn't it?" This is the way she talked. I woke up immediately so happy that her voice is still with me. I'm also so glad that Billy was able to capture my speech to my parents and Dad's speech to me and Brendan. Although at the time, I thought his speech was endless! I, now, treasure it more than ever. After Diddy, which is what I called Daddy when I wanted/needed something and he always signed Diddy on every card he gave me, but after he passed away there was one song that he used to sing that was stuck in my head. One particular line kept replaying in my head and I'll highlight it. How fitting it was for the time? In general, this song was fitting, because it reminded me of where my eyes needed to be.

Walking On the Road
To Jerusalem,
The time had come to sacrifice,
Again.
My two small sons,
They walked beside me down the road,
The reason that they came,
Was to watch the lamb.
"Daddy daddy,
What will we see there?
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And then I said dear children,
"Watch the lamb.
There will be so many,
In Jerusalem today,
We must be sure the lamb
Doesn't run away,"
And I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And I said "Dear children,
Watch the lamb."
When we reached the city,
I knew something must be wrong,
There were no joyful worshippers
No joyful worship songs.
I stood there,
With my children,
In the midst of angry men,
Then I heard the crowd cry out,
"Crucify Him!"
We tried to leave the city,
But we could not get away.
Forced to play in this drama,
A part I did not wish to play,
Why upon this day were men condemned to die?
Why were we all standing here,
When soon they would pass by?
I looked and said,
"Even now they come,"
The first one pleaded for mercy,
The people gave him none.
The second one was violent,
He was arrogant and loud,
I can still hear his angry voice,
Screaming at the crowd.
Then someone said,
"There's Jesus,"
I scarce believed my eyes,
A man so badly beaten,
He barely looked alive.
Blood poured from His body,
From the thorns on His brow,
Running down the cross,
And falling to the ground.
I watched as He struggled,
I watched Him as He fell,
The cross came down upon His back,
And the crowd began to yell.
In that moment I felt such agony,
In that moment I felt such loss,
Till the roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed,
"YOU! Carry his cross!"
At first I tried to resist him,
But his hand reached for his sword,
So I knelt and I took
The cross from the Lord.
I put it on my shoulders
And started down the street
The blood that He'd been shedding,
Was running down my cheek.
They led us to Golgatha
They drove nails,
Deep in His feet and hands.
And on the cross,
I heard him pray,
"Father, forgive them..."
Never have I seen such love
In any other eyes
"Into thy hands I commit my spirit,"
He prayed,
And then He died.
I stood for what seemed like years,
I lost all sense of time,
Until I felt two tiny hands
Holding tight to mine.
My children stood there weeping,
And I heard the oldest say
"Father please forgive us,
The lamb,
Ran away.
Daddy daddy,
What've we seen here,
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I took them in my arms,
We turned and faced the cross.
And I said,
"Dear children
Watch the lamb."

Delayed Valentine's

Brendan and I have finally began our search for a church. :) We started this past Sunday. We've been talking about trying a few churches out and yesterday, we started off with a church that is close by our house. We liked the church and will probably try it out again but next Sunday we will attend another church's service. We both like contemporary churches so that's mostly what we are starting out with.

Brendan and I didn't really get to celebrate Valentine's Day with all that was going on, I really didn't feel up to and then of course, we had that "blizzard" which would have delayed our plans anyways. This past weekend would have been a great weekend to celebrate because the weather was just absolutely perfect but one of my best friends was getting married and there was no way I was going to miss that. Only in South Carolina can you have snow one weekend and the next weekend in the high 60's. I love our state and our weather for the most part. This weekend, we may try to carry out our Valentine's plans but I have a baby shower that I am helping to throw so we'll just have to see! Who says Valentine's has to be celebrated in February anyways?

Today marks 2 weeks and although I have moments where I break down, I am getting stronger. Thank you for your continued love and prayers. I feel blessed to have had my daddy for as long as I did and although I would have liked to have had him much longer, God needed him to come home. I can't say it enough how grateful I am for Brendan and his love and support.

Hopefully, I will have pictures soon of our Valentine's to share. But, then, again, hopefully, we'll be able to have our Valentine's soon!

Southern Snow

Well, we had a short winter wonderland here in South Carolina last week. I'm pretty sure my daddy had a little something to do with it too! It was nice to enjoy the snow and have snowball fights with Brendan which I think is at an advantage since he grew up with snow and brothers therefore his snowball making ability exceeds mine! Needless to say, I got pounded.

Our Snowman! Finally, we get to make a big snowman!

Posing with our creation.

Ferrell even got into the snow action. He was bundled up! Sweater ( thanks Mimi) and a raincoat! Poor thing was still shivering. At one point, he looked like Santa and had a white beard. Then the snow kept sticking to his legs like mini marshmellows attatched to him. He didn't like it a bit so in he went.
Our home.
Jenn makes a snow angel....a big one. Apparently, it's been a while and I kind of went crazy with my legs and arms. HUGE snow angel

Thank you

As I sit here, I don't know how or even if I will get through this entry. I simply wanted to express my sincerest gratitude to our friends, family, neighbors, and even complete strangers who have reached out to me and my family during what I can only describe as an immensely difficult time. Last week felt like such a long, long week. My heart still aches as I can only imagine it will for a while.

My brother, who has been incredibly strong is my hero. I am so proud of the young man that he is and looking back through pictures, I see so much of him in my daddy. Mom and Dad raised an outstanding man and I am honored to call him my brother. When I heard the news of my father, I wanted to get to him as fast as I could and when I did get to him to comfort him...he was the one who helped to comfort me. Me the older sister and him....my baby brother. I love you Ronald Kevin Cox.

My husband, who held me when my feet and body would shut down has been my rock. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him to learn the news and then rush home to me so that when I heard the news, I wasn't alone. I am so thankful for him. I don't think I would be handling this as well as I am without him. He has been so incredible and kind. Words can never express how much I love him. God knew exactly what He was doing bringing Brendan and I together.

Please just know how grateful we are for your love, support, and prayers. I am having a difficult time so please continue to pray. Our hearts are broken for the past, the present, and of course the future. I think my mom said it wonderfully when she said "Can't you just see him and MeMa in Heaven now? I bet she's making him biscuits and he's sitting at her kitchen table." Anyone who knows the family knows that MeMa made THE BEST homemade biscuits in the world. Daddy and me LOVED them and when I came home from college, she would make me a special batch. Mema went to Heaven almost 6 years ago.

Well, I made it through the entry. Again, thank you so much for your love and support.

oopsie daisy

I was TRYING to work with colors and it didn't work out so well! I'll try again another time. Oh yea, so I went to bed early. Woke up at 11 went back to sleep around 12. Tossed and turned all night. Dreamed some crazy things and then woke up too early. I'm still exhausted and I'm going to try to go back to sleep. But grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr , what's up with my crazy sleeping pattern? This is annoying and draining me. 2 nights in a row. booo!

Mission impossible was umm, well, impossible!

In my previous entry, I explained how I was going to try to manage to attend three teaching job fairs. Well, today was the day. I didn't get much sleep last night in anticipation and with my nerves all in a bunch. I tried to go to bed by 10 which ended up being about 12:00 ish then woke back up at 3 am then got back to sleep and woke up at 5 and never went back to sleep. Needless to say, I will definitely ne knocked out early tonight. It's probably a good thing Brendan won't be beside me sleeping tonight because I'm pretty sure I could out snore him tonight!

So around 7:30, I decided to just get up already and get ready. Brendan was awake too for some unknown reason. Maybe because he was excited about going camping tonight with his buddies? I think so! The first job fair began at 8:30 and was all of 15-20 minutes away. If you know me, then you know I'm not one of those girls that it takes an hour to get ready. More like 20-30 minutes. Plus, I shower at night because I don't like to go to bed feeling like I'm dirty in clean sheet. So I get there right when the doors are basically opening and the people are out the door lined up to get in there! OH WOWIE!! I mean seriously, I am already freaking out about both my time and the possibility that I won't be teaching AGAIN next school year. Okay so back to the story. I managed to talk to MAYBE 5 schools before I HAD to go. The next career fair, I had a scheduled interview time. So making a bad impression by being tardy was NOT going to happen. So I left the 1st job fair with hopes to return after the 2nd job fair and saddened that I wouldn't be able to attend the 3drd job fair. You following?

Okay, so I jump in my little RAV4 and make the 30 minute drive to my next fair. I was taken into a classroom and interviewed by a very nice lady who really made me feel comfortable and more like it was a conversation rather than an interview. The way she talked about her school, it really does seem like a wonderful place to be! Unfortunately, contracts will not go out until perhaps March or April so they really won't know about openings until then. Well, my interview took a while longer than ( another girl that was going through this said her friend came out of the interview and said it took only 20 minutes) I thought it to be...mine was about 40 minutes. Which I am hoping this is a great thing. I can't imagine that I am a good interviewee since my nerves get the best of me and I stumble on my words, but she made me feel at ease so *maybe* I did okay! :o) Positive thoughts, people! POSITIVE ONLY! :o) .....I should say please. please send nothing by positive thoughts my way. prayers are always welcomed as well. :)

At this point, the job fair I wanted to go back to will be ending in 30 minutes and it takes me 3o minutes to get to the site so unfortanely, I couldn't make it. SO I made half of my goal. Basically 1.5 . I hope my passion, dedication, and love for education shown through and I made an impact.

I really do ask that you keep me and my search for employment as a teacher in your prayers. It's just hard not being able to teach! If anything, this year has shown me just how much I value and love my job as a teacher.

I did manage to make it back in time however, to give my husband a couple of goodbye kisses along with a few " I'll miss you's". I mean it. I do miss him! How did I ever live in Florence while he lived here? I could NOT do that again.

My wonderful friend, Ashlyn and I went to see the movie Dear Job. I read the book last year and even thought it was JUST as good as The Notebook. Well, Hollywood made The Notebook into a wonderful movie ( of course not as good as the book, but is it ever?!) but Hollywood failed on this film. It just wasn't as good at all and they changed a lot of the story. You know the say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" ? Well, err...why change something that is already outstanding? Just sayin'.

Sorry for such a long entry. It's 7:45 and I'm about to get ready for BED. I've aged...it's true. I'm not 25 anymore. 26 is taking its toll on me. hehee

Double Date

Last Saturday, Brendan and I went on a double date. We went out and battled the "icy roads" in the name of basketball! Which was a lot of fun. Luckily, the roads weren't bad! It was actually my first basketball game for Carolina. It was a great game! We played Georgia and it was super close. Luckily we came out with a Win! Go Gamecocks! I think the final score was 78-77. I'm not a big fan of basketball but I can definitely get into it when I'm at the actual game.

I'm sure you can guess who was taking the picture. So Mom T. took a pic of the boys chatting/cheering.

So Brendan has been sick for the past 2 days with a virus or something but he is feeling better today, thankfully. Hopefully, his germs are gone and I will be sick-free. I've been pretty lucky this year about not getting sick and it's probably because I'm not teaching. :o(

Last Saturday, I went to a job fair for teachers. Brendan even took me because of the threat of icy conditions! How sweet. :o) This Saturday, I've got hopefully 3 more job fairs to go to. I'm not sure why the school districts decide to have their career fair on the same day at the same time. One of the fairs, you have to have an appointment so I'm planning how to do this around the one fair. It's like trying to get from point A to point T and then back tracking to point L. Saturday, I'm trying to achieve the impossible. Keep your fingers crossed that I will be able to make it to all 3! I really need my name and information out there so that this time next year, I will be worry-free of a job because I will already have one teaching. Please, continue to pray that I will get a job, teaching. I'm so worried. It's like a repeat of last year with the talk of budget cuts and furlough days. I don't even care if I have to take a pay decrease..at least I will have some income and be doing what I miss and love so much. I'm in the same boat and I want to get off. I've been tuned into the news and have been reading up on what's going on. Last year, there were 1000 less teachers in South Carolina. It's so unfair to our kids. South Carolina is low when it comes to academics and this is just hurting us that much more. I hope our government comes up with a solution that hires teachers (including this one :o) ).