My Dad's Voice

I've had some bad days this week. I just wanted to share about Daddy's singing. When I was little and we attended East Dillon Baptist Church, my dad sang in church quite a bit. For those of you who attended our wedding, you were able to hear my dad sing "Butterfly Kisses" to me. While he sang in church, he would sing a lot of Ray Boltz songs. His voice was very similar to his. Although his singing at the wedding was different because of emotions and because he had been sick on and off for the past 6 years. He really tried to weasel his way out of singing at our wedding but it wasn't too hard to convince him otherwise. See, since I was a little girl and that song came out, I always told him I wanted him to sing "Butterfly Kisses" at my wedding. He thought I had forgotten about it but sure enough I called him up once the planning had started to remind him. I gave him PLENTY of time to work on it. :) ( So there was no dispute). I'm so glad that we have a video of our wedding ( thank you, again, Billy for the incredible job you did on that!) where I have my dad singing to me. I'm glad in general, that I have his voice. When my MeMa passed away, one of things I was terrified of was that I would forget her voice. Something so simple. Last night I had a dream that she called me and said "Well, it's been a while hadn't it?" This is the way she talked. I woke up immediately so happy that her voice is still with me. I'm also so glad that Billy was able to capture my speech to my parents and Dad's speech to me and Brendan. Although at the time, I thought his speech was endless! I, now, treasure it more than ever. After Diddy, which is what I called Daddy when I wanted/needed something and he always signed Diddy on every card he gave me, but after he passed away there was one song that he used to sing that was stuck in my head. One particular line kept replaying in my head and I'll highlight it. How fitting it was for the time? In general, this song was fitting, because it reminded me of where my eyes needed to be.

Walking On the Road
To Jerusalem,
The time had come to sacrifice,
Again.
My two small sons,
They walked beside me down the road,
The reason that they came,
Was to watch the lamb.
"Daddy daddy,
What will we see there?
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And then I said dear children,
"Watch the lamb.
There will be so many,
In Jerusalem today,
We must be sure the lamb
Doesn't run away,"
And I told them of Moses,
And Father Abraham,
And I said "Dear children,
Watch the lamb."
When we reached the city,
I knew something must be wrong,
There were no joyful worshippers
No joyful worship songs.
I stood there,
With my children,
In the midst of angry men,
Then I heard the crowd cry out,
"Crucify Him!"
We tried to leave the city,
But we could not get away.
Forced to play in this drama,
A part I did not wish to play,
Why upon this day were men condemned to die?
Why were we all standing here,
When soon they would pass by?
I looked and said,
"Even now they come,"
The first one pleaded for mercy,
The people gave him none.
The second one was violent,
He was arrogant and loud,
I can still hear his angry voice,
Screaming at the crowd.
Then someone said,
"There's Jesus,"
I scarce believed my eyes,
A man so badly beaten,
He barely looked alive.
Blood poured from His body,
From the thorns on His brow,
Running down the cross,
And falling to the ground.
I watched as He struggled,
I watched Him as He fell,
The cross came down upon His back,
And the crowd began to yell.
In that moment I felt such agony,
In that moment I felt such loss,
Till the roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed,
"YOU! Carry his cross!"
At first I tried to resist him,
But his hand reached for his sword,
So I knelt and I took
The cross from the Lord.
I put it on my shoulders
And started down the street
The blood that He'd been shedding,
Was running down my cheek.
They led us to Golgatha
They drove nails,
Deep in His feet and hands.
And on the cross,
I heard him pray,
"Father, forgive them..."
Never have I seen such love
In any other eyes
"Into thy hands I commit my spirit,"
He prayed,
And then He died.
I stood for what seemed like years,
I lost all sense of time,
Until I felt two tiny hands
Holding tight to mine.
My children stood there weeping,
And I heard the oldest say
"Father please forgive us,
The lamb,
Ran away.
Daddy daddy,
What've we seen here,
There's so much that we don't understand,"
So I took them in my arms,
We turned and faced the cross.
And I said,
"Dear children
Watch the lamb."